She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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