You smell like stripper and shame
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
