I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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