I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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