problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
