how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
