it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
