O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
