So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
