i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
