dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
