if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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