Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
