i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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