I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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