He had one of those small greek statue penises
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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