sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
