Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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