just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
