I skipped work to stalk him.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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