Having a random hookup so left but love u
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
