i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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