I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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