so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize