I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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