My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
