I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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