Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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