Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
