Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Do you remember whose house we're in?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
