There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
