I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
