so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
