I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
