I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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