are you still at the devil's house?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize