Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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