Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
it glows. i had to have it.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
