How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
