I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i came on her dog
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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