He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
