Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
