you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
You're completely useless in the revolution.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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