he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
