we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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