He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
