I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize