Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
