First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
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