batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
