office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
is wine microwaveable?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
