Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
