Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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