Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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