Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize