Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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