you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
