he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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