remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
