i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I need to align my fucking chakras
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
