Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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