he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
