How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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