honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
