In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
