I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
