I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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