..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
