his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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