Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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