so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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