I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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