So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Just pee around me
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
