I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
