Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
