Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
How does one acquire holy water?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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