They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
