Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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