idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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