Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
