You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize