508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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