Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Pooping to opera.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
