you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
